Change occurs in stages.  Let us review these briefly.  There are 6 basic steps in change.

1. Pre-contemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance/Re-evaluation
6. Relapse/Recommitment

Pre-contemplation is basically where you are not thinking about changing.  You don’t think you need to, or you rationalize that what you are doing doesn’t really have any bad effects.

Contemplation is where you weigh the pro and cons of what you are doing.  You try to look clearly from an outside point of view as to whether you are really doing any damage.  You may seek information from outside sources.  You are doing data-collection.  You think about possibly changing yourself.

Preparation is where you have decided to do something.  Now, you are planning what to do, and when to start it, and how.  You may ask others advice or consult a helper to keep you motivated.

Action is the most tiresome grueling part of change, as is obvious.  This part requires a great deal of investment of time and energy.  Other things must be set at lower priority so as to give a good effort.

Maintenance.  Here you’ve been at the “new” life for at least a short period of time.  You may need to adjust some parts of your plan to work better for you.

Relapse/recommitment.  This is the most demoralizing point.  It’s hard not “throw in the towel” and say to yourself, “this is impossible… it didn’t work… I’ll never change.”  This is where you may really value an outside helper to point out what parts you’ve done right and help you learn from the mistake, make necessary changes and re-energize.  This is where after recommitting again and again the “new” behavior just becomes part of the regular you.

To see where you are in this process, have a look at this link in Assessments here.